April 20, 2008

R.I.P Tyler Fabeck.

I only just met Tyler about a month or so ago. Actually I met him in Dave's car, we stopped to pick him up for a late brunch on Easter Sunday. He got into the back seat of the car and I liked him right away, he started bullshiting with me right there like we had known each other for a long time. Truly a remarkable person and I am happy to have known him even for only a short time. Today at work I couldn't help thinking about him and about those I know who were his friend that were grieving. I thought about what his poor mother and family must be going through right now. I thought about how Tyler, only 22 years old had no way of knowing how short his life would be. How I saw him just on Tuesday at Andrew's birthday party at the Hideout and could never even know that I would never see him again. He had just shaved off his little dread locks and the last thing I said to him was how cute he looked without them.

A life is here one day and not the next and there is no way to know.
When I got off the train tonight after work and I looked at the tree's blooming and birds singing, people walking, life awakening and moving forward. I thought about the Spring awakening and a boy I know dying and then how I don't tell my people enough how much they mean to me. Do I tell them ever? I thought about times where I had lived my life in fear or in sadness or in anger and vowed to never let anything take me there again---I am learning every second that life is simply too precious, loved ones too important, excuses are too common and too easy.
I went to Dave's after work where he and Chad and many good friends of Tyler's gathered to grieve and laugh and indulge in the senses. I felt like maybe I did not have the right to be there, I only knew him for such a brief time. All I wanted to do was to be there to help. Seeing Dave and Chad grieve broke my heart into a million pieces and in that I felt helpless.